More Embarassment

"Whatever I said, whatever I did
I didn't mean it
I just want you back for good"
--I Want You Back, Take That

I love the backing vocal in that song (I want you back, I want you back for good). Anyways, just recalling this morning that I failed to complete my embarassment list last week. The first two were decent, but the last two suck, both involving females and a bright red face on my end.

2. "The hold button doesn't work"
On the phone at my mom's house with a certain female (names have been withheld to protect the innocent), somebody I wasn't too excited about spending time with for one reason or another. So she asks me to do something that night and I need to figure something out, so I put the phone on hold, but fail to place the receiver down (which would complete the "hold" operation), so I'm essentially still holding an open line. I proceeded to have a conversation with Side about not wanting to hang out with her, debating how best to make that point clear. After a short convo, I glance back at the hold light, which should be flashing. It's not. I'm holding the receiver in my hand, slowly realizing that the phone was never on hold in the first place, and she's been privy to the entire conversation. Ouch. I froze momentarily, then did what any sane person would have done--I slammed the receiver down and hung up on her. Of course, she called back seconds later, I made up some lame excuse about the phone disconnecting, and then had to reassure her when she said, "If you don't want to hang out with me, just tell me." Needless to say, this whole situation could have been handled much smoother. Oh well.

1. "Your...hair...looks different"
Everybody's got a girl from junior high they had a crush on, and there's one in particular (again, name withheld) who was totally cute and a Kings fan to boot. Great combo. I don't really remember what happened to her in high school (I don't think she graduated with us), but my last memories of her were quite beautiful.
Flash forward about six years after high school, when I'm working at the church, and we were going through a series of administrative assistants in the youth department after our stalwart Stephanie went off to graduate school. The latest hire was scheduled to be introduced at our weekly staff meeting and so I proceeded to said meeting, unaware of anything out of the ordinary.
As I walk into the office, I'm greeted by a young woman on the larger side, short hair and evidently our new hire. She surprises me, offering, "Hey Scott, remember me?" Not a hint of recognition in my eyes. I don't want to totally offend someone who obviously knows me, so I feign hesitation, trying desperately to place the face. "Umm, I, er..." "It's [NAME]. From LCHS."
She had a different last name (married now), so I was totally not expecting that. But uh oh, now I know who she is. She doesn't look the same. Not even close. I hate to say it, but there's been significant gain, to the point of unrecognizability. How do I...
"Wow, oh my gosh. Your...hair...looks different."
Great call. How much of an idiot did I sound like, geez. Everyone I've told this story to has just cringed, considering what the girl would have thought to hear me utter that horribly unsubtle line. What a jerk.

So yeah, done with the embarassment for now. Hopefully there won't be too many more to add to the list anytime soon.
There's a story on espn.com today about John Kerry trying to reconcile the fact that he said he was at Shea Stadium for the Bill Buckner error in Game 6, 1986, when it was documented that he was present for a Massachusetts Latino Democratic Committee meeting in Boston the same night. Dude is trying way to hard to gain the Red Sox Nation vote. He obviously doesn't know what he's talking about, but because the whole region is caught up in the fevah (that's fever, with a chowd accent), he's gotta jump on the bandwagon, ex post facto. Here's an excerpt from a column by P-Gammons a few months ago, made me laugh:
"John Kerry last week professed to be a big fan of 'Manny Ortez,' then re-emphasized the phoofery by correcting it to 'David Ortez.' No, that was Dave (Baby) Cortez and 'The Happy Organ.' A few years back Kerry went on a Boston station with Eddie Andelman and said 'my favorite Red Sox player of all time is The Walking Man, Eddie Yost,' who never played for the Red Sox. Kerry is going to sweep New England. He's going to get 70 percent of the vote in Massachusetts. He doesn't have to be a Red Sox fan, all he has to do is not be John Ashcroft."
This is why I'm voting for George Bush. He may be stubborn, he may not always be right, but he's true to himself. He's a real leader, whether you agree with everything he does or not. Kerry just seems to be trying way too hard.
Thus concludes the only political paragraph (or two) in the history of my blog. Another chill day at work and then "Movin' Out" tonight.