The Real Superstar

"Vladimir Vladimir
standing in the field
'til he lines his
sight along the furrows"
--Vladimir Vladimir, Jane Siberry

I had to search for that one, but I needed to pay tribute to the ridiculousness that is Vlad Guerrero. Just got home from bible study and had three great sporting events from which to choose: USA-Honduras on Fox Sports World (delayed; the US had already won, 4-0), the 1993 Campbell Conference Finals Game Seven - Kings vs. Leafs (one of the Great One's greatest) on Classic and the Angels-Red Sox tilt on Fox Sports West. Good sports days (and nights) are such a wonderful thing. If only the rest of life provided me with such options at every turn. Hmmm, time for a new car, should I trade in the Saturn for a BMW 760, a Ferrari or an Escalade?
Because the other two had already happened, I settled on the Vlad show and was immediately rewarded with a three-run homer in the sixth, his second dong of the game and his sixth, seventh and eighth RBIs. Eight RBIs! After watching Gretzky score on a nice slapper from the slot during a commercial, I came back for the seventh, when Guerrero singled in another run, bringing his line to 4-for-4 with NINE RBIs.
Gretzky followed up a Mike Donnelly goal with a nice little bank off Dave Ellett's skate to basically sew up the game and the series for the Kings. Nice.
Now Frankie Rodriguez is in to close it out, which could be a good thing and not such a good thing at the same time for my fantasy team. Granted, K-Rod is the best pitcher the Angels have and he probably should be closing, but he's been racking up the holds (underrated stat by everyone else in my league) and setting up Troy Percival (also on my team) for plenty of saves. Last night he pitched a perfect eighth and gave Percy a three-run lead, which the old fella almost blew (two-run shot) before closing it out. So now instead of my squad enjoying the one-two punch of hold and save during all these Angel wins, Scioscia might finally be figuring out that Percy doesn't have it like he used to and that Frankie is his best option in these game-ending situations. Who knows.
Another real quick holds-related note: Akinori Otsuka is another stud setup guy. He pitches the eighth for my Padres (clearing the way for Trevor) and his numbers are sick this year, too. Check it.
Guerrero is already a superstar and Rodriguez is well on his way (if you haven't already, watch this guy pitch once--he's filthy), but the superstars I was excited to write about are a different breed...
There's a special place in one's heart for that first favorite movie, the one you can watch over and over and of which you never get bored. The one you spend so much time watching, you memorize all the lines and can even act out most of the scenes. Everybody's got one. I've got two, but they're not your standard major motion pictures. Instead, they're two of the greatest productions in the history of NBA entertainment.
NBA Superstars was a fusion of sports and music never seen before or since. The sounds of Janet Jackson, Berlin and Yanni, just to name a few, were melded with the video exploits of the best players of the 1980's. It was a beautiful thing.
Magic wanted to be the one "in control," throwing no-look passes and smiling as Janet crooned away.
MJ "looked like he was in an F-16 that time," taking everyone's breath away with countless ridiculous dunks.
Charles was "sitting at the walls of heartache, bang bang," dunking on people and pouting as Patty Smyth wailed away.
Isiah had "the right stuff," especially with that cheesy high-five he had with Kevin McHale and then the cheesier conclusion to the video, Isiah's mom telling her son, "I'm so proud of you, son, so proud, so proud."
The first video was perhaps the most poignant, Dr. J's passion for the game and for his mini-hoop-dunking kids evidently representing "the greatest love of all." For sure, the only reason I know every word to that song (and will for the rest of my life) is this video.
Larry Legend's was pretty sweet, too, introduced with a bite from a championship parade where he shows how much of a hick he was: "There's only one place I'd rather be--French Lick." Cue the John Cougar Mellencamp.
Quick side question: Have championship parades always involved atrociously-dancing white guys or is this just a recent phenomenon? The exploits of Mark Madsen and Bob Kraft in their respective celebrations are the stuff of legend.
Hakeem Olajuwon was given the Kool Moe Dee epic, "How Ya Like Me Now?" to portray his game, a number that included such memorable lyrics as "Now brothers are riding me / Like a pony / I'm no phony / I'm the only real micaroni" and "You took my style / I'm takin' it back / Comin' back like 'Return of the Jedi.'" Good stuff. I can't bag on it too much, though, 'cause I actually did a poetry project on this piece in eighth grade. I guess I didn't get the "poem" approved, but I went through with photos and illustrated the whole thing, it was awesome. Maybe Mrs. Cockerill didn't appreciate the "I'll make a sick man rock on his death bed / Sucker MC's , I'll make your girl say "ow" / She's jockin' / How ya like me now" section. Kool Moe Dee, such genius. Definitely one of my early influences.
No lyrics to make fun of in Dominique's video--he was the lucky recipient of a Yanni piece entitled "Looking Glass." The main part of this video I remember is that they decided to like follow 'Nique to the game, show him driving in his car, walking around, then getting dressed and stuff like that. This is a guy whose nickname is the "Human Highlight Film" and we're going to show you him tying his shoes. That's brilliant. They still managed to get some good stuff in there, but that's definitely one I would have done differently.
Now that I actually do this kind of stuff for a living, it's cool to look upon it with a more critical eye. Granted, it was 1988 and the methods have improved significantly since then, but there's still plenty of cheese to see and appreciate.
The final cut was a montage tribute to the greats of the 60's and 70's, Billy Joel's "This is the Time to Remember" providing the backdrop. Several images come through from that one, Pistol Pete's looping flip shot, Dave Cowens diving for a loose ball and Richard Nixon waving from an airplane. It was an interesting history lesson mixed into the shots of these players; I'm not sure exactly what it accomplished.
"Come Fly With Me" only gets a short mention because I'm ridiculously tired and need my sleep. The video is an absolute classic, though, with some of the best stuff ever put on tape and some of the absolute worst. A quick breakdown:
Good
-any and all highlight footage showing MJ dunking on absolutely everyone in his first four or five years in the league. Anyone who just remembers comeback MJ (the '95-'98 version) has forgotten how much he used to just mash on people.
-the Olympic footage and the laugh he gets for talking about Bobby Knight's cussing
-the music for the 63-point game against the Celtics at the Garden and the accompanying narration ("Dateline: The playoffs...he single-handedly dismantled the Celtic attack"), then the classic shot of McHale in disbelief with his hands over his head
-the final highlight section where he talks about being able to do whatever he wants to guys who guard him--cockiness is sweet
-the shots of his outdoor court and the "daily battles in the backyard with his older brother larry"
Not So Good
-the graphics, most notably the high school photo that morphs into him in military uniform and the body that stretches when he talks about growing taller
-the awful fake newspapers that keep track of his career, especially the one that has his face wink at one point
-the advertising section, showing behind-the-scenes footage of him at commercial shoots and whatnot--definitely could have done without that
We're done--both videos probably deserve much more run, but sleep beckons. Hockey editing for eight hours tomorrow--exciting stuff.
Padres 2-1 winners in 10, even though the Bulldog, Brian Lawrence couldn't get the W. We're still tied with the Edwin Jackson Show for first, keep it up boys.
Terry Smith just informed us on the Angel postgame show that Percy had an MRI today, so K-Rod's appearance is not a big-picture thing. Good to hear, I need both of those boys to keep putting up numbers, especially with Rocky Biddle as my other main closer. Can't depend on those Temple City guys. Out.