Youth Baseball Spectacular

"Yeah, right.
Does that make any sense to you?
No, it doesn’t make no sense to me.
And the guy that spoke--I don’t know who he is.
Yeah."
--Untitled, They Might Be Giants

It was indeed a holiday yesterday (hope yours was lovely), but bad writing about baseball never takes a vacation, so we're fortunate this morning to have as much good stuff from the youth baseball summaries as we've ever had. Enjoy...
- "the cubs got some good hitting from Kevin Hurlbutt Nick Yoka, Ian Donnelly and Anthony Greco.Jonathan Marsh played well as did James Chhristensen Dominic Orlandini and Conner Ring also did a good job Sean Finkelberg and Jeremy Jacob also played well"
So there's one period in the whole thing (but no space afterward), and one comma, which is definitely insufficient. The first sentence (other than the lower-case 'the' and the lack of a comma between Kevin and Nick) isn't horrible, but the second is unbelievable. Run-on doesn't begin to describe it. Nice to get those kids' names in there, but it would also be nice to make some sense along the way.
- "The Frogs give the Greased Lightning a big 'Ribet' and wish them the best of luck in the rest of the playoffs!!"
I can't stand these sentiments of post-game goodwill in the articles--that's what the 2-4-6-8 cheers are for, so leave your sucking up on the field. I will admit, however, that it is kinda funny that a "Ribet" is how this squad shows their appreciation. They really get into that Frog nickname.
- "The Mariners never really got started and the game was called early to go to Open House."
In the aftermath of a 10-3 loss, the coach can't even name a kid who did something well? You're better than that, Coach, quit making excuses. "Yeah, we lost, but it's only 'cause everybody had to go to open house. We definitely woulda won otherwise."
- "Great Game! (Coach Canyon)"
I'm in awe.
- "In a thrilling regular season ending finale the Astros edged the Padres 6 to 5."
Maybe it's just me, but doesn't the word "finale" usually mean the season is ending? I watched the "24" season finale last Monday, and, strangely enough, there are no more new episodes this season.
- "Gabrielle Badie was rock solid at first base by making great catches - good Job! Late in the game Becca Stoker smacked the ball into the outfield for a hit and a crucial RBI (wow)! One of our team leaders, Emily Villapondo, also had an important hit that resulted in a single and a RBI (way to go Emily)! Faye Oaks is one of our most dependable players on the team and she proved it again with excellent catching and a monster double (well done)! Lastly, Robin Jamison played extremely well; 6 stike outs, plenty of plays to first, two singles, and an RBI (great job Robin)!"
Sorry for the length of this one, but we needed to get the full spectrum of parenthetical comments from this coach. Again, if you've got something to tell Robin about her RBI, just go ahead and mention it to her at Round Table after the game between slices. Emily would love to be complimented on her single, perhaps in the dugout immediately following that half-inning. Kindly keep these away from me.
- "Will Mudie participated in all three outs one inning when he played pitche... he through out two runners at first and he caught a pop fly."
Two gems in this one, starting with the use of the ellipsis after an incomplete word. Were we supposed to finish the word "pitcher" for you, Coach? It's like a friend of mine who abbreviates "El Pollo Loco" by saying "El Pollo Loc"--you're really saving a lot of syllables there, huh? Now, even if you don't want to complete your words, the ellipsis is reserved for "when you are including only part of a quotation or when you deliberately want to leave a sentence unfinished." So which one was it? Second thing is using "through" instead of "threw." Yes, they're homonyms, but that doesn't mean they're interchangeable. I know you're only a little league coach, but "throwing" is an important enough part of the game to merit some understanding of its usage, in all tenses. Throw, threw, has thrown. I'll send out a little handbook if you like.

There's not a day that goes by that doesn't give me something to brag about when it comes to the Padres, so I'll have to mention last night's 2-1 win, courtesy of a bottom-of-the-ninth game-winning double by Miguel Ojeda, scoring Geoff Blum all the way from first. I stayed up and listened to it on mlb.com, hoping it would end in regulation because a) I was exhausted and b) I wanted to watch another episode of "24" before I went to sleep. Everybody went home happy--Padres win (three-game lead, now 17-4!!! at home, 21 wins in May--most in franchise history for any month), I watched one and now only have four episodes left of Season Two, and I got enough sleep to make it through a workout and to work this morning. Okay, so maybe not everybody went home happy--the Brewers lost that heartbreaker, and the D-Backs and Dodgers fell even further behind in the NL West. Can't wait for games this weekend (definitely going down to watch us beat the Cubs Saturday and Sunday)...
(By the way, I use the ellipsis at the end of my paragraphs to continue my thoughts, to pause before resuming what is essentially a stream-of-consciousness essay here.)

Good things that happened this weekend (besides the Padres' five-game winning streak):
- sleep
- beach volleyball in Hermosa all day Sunday (though a splotch of sunburn in the middle of my back has spoiled it somewhat in the aftermath)
- Collective Soul at House of Blues Sunday night (made even sweeter by the presence of John and Mike B)
- barbecue at Jason's yesterday (getting to hang out with former roommates Jason and Ryan, among others)
- My Real Madrid squad won the Champions League behind a stellar final-game performance from England midfielder Steven Gerrard (another star who was unavailable for England's real-life 2-1 defeat of the U.S. on Saturday)
- Saturday baseball, obviously
- news that friends Ryan and Vanessa are engaged, which trumps all of the above (yes, even the Padre stuff)

It being my birthday and all, I should probably have something introspective and wise to offer this morning, but I'm feeling kind of lazy. It's a dark week, so my motivation to do anything other than eat and watch "24" is pretty low, and I'm sure I'll be inspired at some point today or tomorrow--you know, lessons I've learned in 28 years, 28 things I'm thankful for or something like that. Yeah, I think the latter sounds good--I'll try to work that one out soon...Peace. (See, after the ellipses--plural of ellipsis--a period here indicates finality. I'm done.)