Things I Don't Understand

"Y'all better leave dat boy alone
Cuz if they dont
Yall know he goin come back on 'em
And they dont want him to come back strong
I wouldnt durr get that thur boy goin"
--Leave Dat Boy Alone, D-12

There are some things I will never understand. One of those is the appeal of poker on television, despite our network's marital commitment to the idea (and it really is a successful one, for some reason). Another of those is the concept of pitching to David Ortiz with the game on the line. Big Papi went yard in the bottom of the ninth last night, turning a two-run deficit into a three-run victory and ringing up his fifth game-winning hit of the season (three of which have been of the home run variety). Going back just a few years, let's remember that this guy was waived--WAIVED--by the Twins, who believed that he wasn't worth even a million dollars to keep around in 2003. So the Red Sox snagged him, and he hasn't stopped winning games ever since. He's hit seven walk-off home runs with the Sox (including the three this year), and his arrival on the walk-off scene pretty much came in the historic '04 playoffs, when he beat the Angels with a home run in the divisional series and then beat the Yankees twice on the same day with walk-off hits, beginning and then continuing the most amazing comeback in sports history (maybe--Frank Reich's Bills would argue that point).
More things I don't understand:
- How anyone could not be a Will Ferrell fan. Had a discussion about the Ricky Bobby movie yesterday, and there was actually somebody in the conversation who called him "overrated." No, that word is reserved for Peyton Manning, Dan Patrick and Penelope Cruz. Not Will Ferrell. From his bit parts in "Austin Powers", "Jay & Silent Bob..." and "Starsky & Hutch" to his lead roles in "Old School", "Anchorman" and even "Elf", he's really defined himself as the leading comic genius of this generation. Not sure when that era is going to end, but with "Old School 2" coming out at some point, and this NASCAR movie guaranteedt to be hilarious, there's certainly no end in sight.
- Why on earth O.J. Mayo would want to go to USC. Kevin Love coming to UCLA I understand--more tradition than any program in the country, and a recent return to prominence behind a tremendous head coach (plus Sonny Vaccaro feeds us all the good Adidas players). The Trojans? Under .500 in the Pac 10 last year (and 19-35 the three previous conference seasons), and boasting a head coach with mediocre NBA experience (he posted a glorious .284 winning percentage while he was there). Yes, they have a nice new building opening up next season, but if building quality was a determining factor in recruiting, the football team wouldn't get anybody at all (the Coliseum is surpassed in terribleness by only Stanford Stadium). If Mayo ends up at SC, even for just one season, I'll be very surprised. Of course, he's like 23, so I guess it'll be nice having a 25-year old freshman leading the way in '07-'08.
- Why more people haven't picked up on European soccer. One of my favorite Sports Guy columns of the past few years came out a couple weeks ago, detailing his decision-making process in finding a premier league team for which to root. My Newcastle boys finished third in the end, behind runner-up Liverpool and his new squad, Tottenham Hotspur (or "Spurs"), the former club of such greats as Paul Gascoigne, Jurgen Klinsmann (next USA coach?) and Teddy Sheringham. They're good, but they're no Newcastle. If you haven't read the article, it makes a great case for European football, especially the English variety, on the (back) heels of the World Cup. I needed no convincing, but it's still a good argument. And oh by the way, the world's richest club, Chelsea, have been practicing at UCLA all week and nobody cares.
- What on earth ESPN is doing (the Harold Reynolds edition). Yes, I know he harassed a P.A. (at Outback Steakhouse, of all places), but seriously, what on-air talent hasn't had a bout with the big SH at the worldwide leader? Legend has it that Mike Tirico is the all-time worst (I've heard more stories on this guy than I've ever cared to hear), and yet he's somehow still the voice of the NBA on ESPN/ABC and major golf tournaments. Doesn't take much, I guess. Meanwhile, HR was one of maybe three analysts I actually like watching on that network (Kirk Herbstreit and Peter Gammons being the others, but Kirk is out of season and PGammons is out of commission for now), and now he's free to go anywhere else, hopefully Fox, and hopefully soon. Their penchant for driving news stories (contrived or real) into the ground is sickening, and because there are so many outlets (SportsCenter, Baseball Tonight, NFL Live, Outside the Lines, all the radio shows, ESPNews, ESPN the Magazine, ESPN the constant headache), we're inundated with whatever blather they feel like unloading (T-O, Bonds, and A-Rod's recent saga come to mind). I liken ESPN's fall to that of MTV, where they've forgotten the reason they went on the air in the first place. Kevin & Bean were talking about MTV's 25th anniversary today, and one of them (never can tell which) made the joke that they stopped showing music videos 23 years ago. Exagerrated, but almost true. Meanwhile, SportsCenter has become less enjoyable by the day (with the notable exception of Scott Van Pelt) and the rest of their programming--don't even get me started (Dominos? Seriously?). I certainly don't claim that our show is going to win awards for journalistic excellence anytime soon, but we're not under any guise other than having a good time for an hour, whatever that means (and yes, hanging out with Hooters girls is definitely included).
- How summer television can suck as much as it does. My DirecTV is out this week, and except for "Entourage" (which I'll watch on repeat whenever my service returns), I don't even care. I can watch baseball on my computer, I've got enough Seinfeld episodes saved up to last me for a couple weeks, and there's pretty much nothing else I've even heard about that I'm missing. I guess they figure everyone's on vacation, so why bother with new shows, but I'm going on record in complete disagreement with this idea. Didn't "The O.C." come out in the summer? People (myself excepted) seem to love that show, so why wouldn't more shows try this? Oh well, just waiting for the fall--the return of "My Name is Earl" and "Prison Break" and the debut of "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip". By the way, the reason my DirecTV doesn't work is that painters came to my neighbors house and a) dislodged the dish from its working location and b) splattered paint all over the dish, which probably doesn't aid its ability to receive satellite signals. Not a word of this was mentioned to me, by either the neighbor or the painting crew (and it wasn't mentioned to my roommate either, since he's the one who's actually at home more than two hours a day), which is pretty disrespectful. I always try to look at the best in people and save judgment, but the neighbors have been a little tough to smile at the last few weeks.

Yeah, so that's about it for this Tuesday morning. Heading to Alabama this weekend for a fishing show, which should be very interesting, though we're including a few non-fishing guests to tailor it more to our style. Bo Jackson will be there, which will be one of my bigger guest-related thrills--I remember reading "Bo Knows Bo" when I was much younger and following closely his whole baseball/football career, the rise and fall. Besides MJ, I don't think there was another guy who made you say "Oh my goodness" (or some more colorful alternative) more often than Bo. His All-Star Game home run off Rick Reuschel, leading off the '89 game (he stole a base in that game too, and I still have the LA Times sports section with the Bo-related headline). His running up the wall after making a great catch in the outfield as a Royal. Breaking bats over his head and knee. Trucking Brian Bosworth on Monday Night Football on his way into the end zone, then running all the way into the tunnel on a super-long TD run in the same game. Going three for three with three home runs uin a random game, and then me having to leave home for a church event (so I called a buddy to check on his last at bat--no home run). Such a bummer that he couldn't play longer, but he still provided enough memories to last a lifetime. Can't wait for Friday (except for the humidity)...