Momentous

"I'm in the moment
The one where nothing matters
And everything's alright
I'm seeing things so clearly now
And you're the reason why
I'm in the moment and I'm alive"
--In the Moment, Sister Hazel

Every so often, I experience a moment of enlightenment, when the big picture becomes clear at the expense of the momentary details. It can be a good or a bad thing, depending on the circumstances, but when it comes, it results in a total appreciation of the current reality and an understanding of my place in life. I had two of those yesterday, which is certainly cause for some long-overdue writing (I'll get to the explanation for my prolonged absence shortly)...
Moment number one: Just finished lunch with your father (at a lovely little establishment in Gardena called Hoops Deli, complete with a basketball representing the first "o" of the name), and was driving home around 1 p.m. with nothing to do. I turned from Aviation onto 15th Street, a couple blocks from home, windows down, sun shining (if I owned a convertible, the top would most certainly have been down; or if I still had the Volvo, the sunroof would surely have been open), KZLA blasting (if country music can indeed be "blasted"), sunglasses on (feeling like part of a Don Henley song), and a huge smile came onto my face. A combination of things was becoming apparent to me at that moment: I live in the greatest place on earth--Southern California, and more specifically, Manhattan Beach. The weather (though we've had the rain to deal with over the last few months) is impeccable, sun (almost) always shining, and never really getting too hot. My life is pretty darn carefree, especially in a week like this where I have no real responsibility. Yesterday I had exactly one thing on my to-do list: lunch with YF. I had no obligation to get up any time before 11 (though I obviously did) and had nothing important to do once I got home (though I was surprisingly productive nonetheless), and though this is a rare occurrence, wow is life good. I was also smiling thinking about my family, and how fortunate I am to have four individuals who all care about me so much. Having just come from spending time with one of those individuals, the joy brought to me by my family was very apparent at the time (On a side note, the multi-month project is finally completed, and I'll be screening the video for YF, Sharon and Michael next Monday night after a birthday dinner. I honestly can't wait). The final element was a thought generated by my morning devotional, something that I think has me back on track in a self-confidence way for the first time since the Ashley debacle of '05. I actually don't know if I can refer to it by year, since we're still in that year and will be for some time, but I stand by my characterization. Anyways, long story short, my day had already been elevated, and this moment just seemed to pull it all together at once, manifesting itself in a smile no one else even got to see. Good times.
So moment number two came later in the afternoon, as I was writing a check for the cleaning ladies that come every Friday, considering some advice about real estate investing given to me by YF, looking over my phone bill at the behest of someone asking me to change services, checking an e-mail about my income tax returns (I had to PAY taxes this year for the first time ever; sucks), filling out an online recommendation for a friend who wants to study abroad in the fall, printing out another recommendation for for another friend who wants to work in youth ministry in DC this summer, talking on the phone with the president of an advertising agency about possible employment at Fox for a family friend of his (yes I realize this has become the longest sentence in the history of mankind, but all of these things were taking place yesterday within the span of a couple hours). The final act, the one that brought moment number two into focus, was a perusal of my investment accounts (inspired by this whole real estate thing), all three of them. I sat there after glancing at the numbers for a second, and just one thing came to mind: I'm OLD. Usually that distinction has brought with it an ugly feeling, like my youth is fleeting and my fun years are behind me, but this time, it was a real sense of pride and of accomplishment. It's old in the responsible, capable sense, not old in the "can't have fun anymore" sense. I have retirement accounts, mutual funds, money market accounts, and am now looking into real estate. Wow. I earned twice as much money this year as I ever have in the past, and I'm saving at a crazy rate. I sometimes help lead a bible study and I play in a men's basketball league in my neighborhood. This isn't self-serving, but it's a cool realization when you figure out that you're totally capable of being an adult. I'm certainly still capable of being a kid, maybe moreso than I should, but I'm sufficiently surprised by this moment of maturity.
Okay, so now a quick re-cap of the last two weeks or so: Our show is dark during conference championship week every year, so I was only in Monday through Wednesday of last week, for a total of 15 hours or so. I cut a 30-second boxing promo for the "Best Of" shows this week (even though it's boxing, it's something of which I'm quite proud, as much as anything else I've ever done, actually), and then got some fun things done, like getting DVD copies of the 1992 (Jason Kidd) and '95 (Garnett, Vinsanity, Marbury, Pierce, etc.) McDonald's All-American games, and copying my sports DVD's (Larry Bird, Michael Jordan, Bulls, Lakers) to digital tape so I can use them for the show when the need arises. Watching those Bulls championship videos makes me wish so badly that MJ was still playing, still in his prime. I guess I'm just glad that we have so many of his great games to watch.
So I've been off work since last Wednesday, only returning this morning (and I'll have half-days until the end of the week). In the meantime, here's what I was able to get done:
Thursday: Lunch at Lucky Boy with Chris French (actually my second stop there in less than a week; hit up the LBC with Nick, Wang and Farag after the Clipper game--courtside, of course--on Saturday), sitting and chatting with Charlie and Kotick as they ate lunch at Rocky Cola, a dental appointment with Dr. Ho (saw Dan Niemann there, wish he had been my hygenist instead of the same pain-inflicting woman I always get), and then a trip up to Santa Barbara with Christi to see Mike Motia and his fellowship group. Had a great time up there, including a couple slices at Woodstock's and a great conversation with a couple of the seniors in the group, stressed out and thinking about the real world (giving advice to people hoping they'll find work, telling them it'll be fine--probably a helper in that whole feeling responsible thing).
Friday: Up ridiculously early, drove down to San Diego to meet with Brad Holland, the final individual in the aforementioned video project, and had a great time doing that. Drove up to San Clemente right afterward for a nice lunch with Mike B, who I definitely wish lived closer to me. I so thoroughly his company, something I definitely took for granted when we lived in the same house for two years, and something I need to make more of an effort to seek out in this busy, busy life.
Saturday: Back up in LC to hang out with Charlie, then to the Morris residence to see Perry (accompanied by Kelly, Cara and Rachel), Ben (with the love of his life, Breanne), Cindy and Brian. Another place that's always so welcoming, and one that I miss a lot (when you spend approximately nine days a week in a certain location and eat approximately 15 meals a week there, you tend to grow quite fond of said location). Had some Baja with Charlie and then came back home to view "Anchorman" with Phil and Ale (still not sure the name adequately translates when it's read: think "Ali" or "Ollie," sort of). Very underrated movie, I think. I got there late when I saw it on the lot a long time ago, and I remember laughing a lot, but that could have also been the drunk guys I was with at the time. Instead of disappointing in viewing number two, Will Ferrell was even funnier (if that's possible) the second time around, especially in my favorite scene, the whole "Afternoon Delight" songfest.
Sunday through Tuesday: Nothing redeeming, with the exception of watching our basketball team collect its first win in a month, and watching a great episode of "The West Wing" immediately thereafter. Former Vice President John Hoynes is pretty much done, following some harassment allegations, and unheralded Matt Santos won the California primary, which pretty much reserves Jimmy Smits' spot in the White House next year. They haven't dealt with Arnold Vinick (Alan Alda) in forever, so I can't foresee them making us care about Santos and then having him lose the election. And that brings us to yesterday, that momentous Tuesday. No guarantees about writing the rest of the week (half days, like I said), but it's good to be back. Peace.