Chasing Earl

"Even Izzy, Slash and Axl Rose
When I call, you put 'em all on hold"
--Suzanne, Weezer

After bible study last night, I returned home looking forward to a viewing of my second-favorite show on TV (and one of only three shows I even attempt to watch on a weekly basis), "My Name Is Earl". Unfortunately, there's this sporting event going on somewhere overseas that seems to have put the rest of NBC's programming on a short hiatus, and there was no new episode of Earl to watch. How sad. Last week's episode, guest-starring Mrs. Ben Stiller as a professor and the temporary object of Earl's affection, was probably the best in the show's brief history (I thought as much, and had my opinion verified by two avid viewers in the office--my place of work, not to be confused with the show immediately following Earl in NBC's Thursday night lineup). They've had a great run of guest stars, including Adam Goldberg a few weeks ago and Jon Favreau before that. Also, the Taco Bell commercial guy has made a few appearances in what seems to be a pretty similar character to his burrito-touting alter ego. Jaime Pressly is amazing, Crab Man is hilarious, and Ethan Suplee hasn't been this good since he was trying to see that stupid sailboat in the mall. But the genius of the show, obviously, lies in the title character, and Jason Lee is just awesome. Dude has really exceeded expectations, hasn't he? After watching "Mallrats" for the first time, freshman year of college, there's no way I would have foreseen a hit NBC comedy landing anywhere near this guy. He was definitely funny--one of my favorite movie characters of all time, right up there with Trent from "Swingers" and Colonel Frank Slade--but very unpolished, which is pretty much what you'd expect from a professional skateboarder turned actor. He's done plenty of work from that point to get to where he is now, so in the word of Ali G, "respeck".
I alluded to the grand sporting event that's taken over the airwaves (and has rendered BDSSP dark for two glorious weeks), and I'm wondering if I've ever cared less about games of any olympiad. I really don't think so. I've managed to watch about five minutes of downhill skiing (at Rocky Cola Cafe in Hermosa on Sunday--Bode didn't win), two static-filled minutes of some snow-related event (at Suss' new apartment on Monday--they don't have cable yet) and maybe three minutes of USA hockey (at work on Wednesday--we tied Latvia, which had "Like Wall" in net), which amounts to a grand total of 10 minutes in the games' first week. Why don't I care? And why isn't anybody at work talking about it? I've come up with a few reasons so far...
- The world at large cares more about this kind of thing than the sporting community, and this is my first winter games working within said community. I'm exposed to enough, day in and day out, to know that I'd much rather be watching UConn-Villanova or Cavs-Celtics (ridiculous overtime game the other night; deserves mention later) than Johnny Weirdo skating his pretty little heart out.
- The summer Olympics are about nine billion times better than their winter counterparts, which makes these kind of disappointing. The only events that really capture me in the same way the summer ones do are women's figure skating (I'll try to watch Sasha Cohen; I would have watched Michelle Kwan) and ice hockey (but probably just the medal rounds, unless it's Kazakhstan v. Italy or something like that). Figure skating is the winter equivalent of gymnastics, except the girls are usually taller than four feet, and the music is better, for the most part.
- The delay factor makes suspense for these events almost non-existent. I'm not sure if NBC is trying to pretend the internet doesn't exist or what, but attempting to put people on the edge of their seat when the thing their watching happened like six hours ago just seems stupid to me. I guess because they need to get prime time advertising dollars, they keep everything late and try to make it seem new. It would be possible to avoid hearing about results (like taping a game, trying to avoid all score updates before you get home and watch it), but it's not easy when you spend almost the entire workday in front of a computer.
- I don't watch TV at night (except for the three shows--usually just watched on TiVo at my convenience anyway), so the delayed stuff doesn't work for me at all, even if I didn't know what was going on. There's nothing about these events that's inducing me to watch anymore evening television than is already on my docket.
Yeah, so quick note about this crazy Cavs-Celtics games the other night, because I can pretty much guarantee that nobody I know watched it. After the Suns-Sonics game a month or so ago (Ray-Ray's trey at the buzzer won it, 152-149, in double OT), this has been the game of the year so far in the NBA. Here's why:
- Paul Pierce. 50 points for the Inglewood native (to go with 7 rebounds and 8 assists)--he's very quietly having a First-Team All-NBA-type season.
- LeBron, LeBron, LeBron. Not to be outdone by Pierce, King James went for 43 points, 12 rebounds, 11 assists, 4 blocked shots and 2 steals. He's so ridiculous sometimes. Having him and D-Wade running the wings on Sunday is going to be obscene (and Vinsanity coming off the bench).
- Three guys played 50+ minutes. Delonte West was one of them; I'll give you one guess for the other two. Yeah. LeBron played 54 (out of a possible 58), and Pierce had the same number.
- Delonte West. Sports Guy's favorite Celtic is quickly turning into a very good point guard. In addition to his marathon display, he put up 15 points, 10 rebounds and 8 assists (and 3 blocked shots!).
- Lots of scoring. Not quite as many points as that Suns-Sonics game (most entertaining regular season game I can ever remember, honestly), but 113-109 is still a great scoreline for a league that's finally seeing offensive numbers on the rise again. Gone are the days of the Bad Boy Pistons and the ugly Knicks. Mike D'Antoni has started a revolution, and it's far more entertaining.
That's it for today, I'm off to a meeting and then to Mammoth for a snow-filled long weekend. Obviously making time for All-Star Weekend and the UCLA-USC game in there somewhere, but I'll have plenty of time on the slopes...

Queens

"Terrible, what ya know about terrible?
Terrible, you don’t know what’s terrible"
--Terrible, Insane Clown Posse

Actually, I do know what's terrible: the Kings, especially their not-so-special teams, which gave up two more power play goals last night (and went 0-for-3 on the power play) and sent Andy Murray's reeling squad to their seventh straight loss. Ouch. After an abysmal display on Tuesday (5-1 loss to Minnesota; all five Wild goals scored on the power play), I was stoked to look at my coordinating producer's monitor in the control room yesterday and see a 3-1 Kings advantage on ESPN's bottom line. I was unable to watch any of the rest of the game, but needless to say, getting the post-game text alert reading 7-4 was quite stunning. I don't know where to place the blame, because they've been dealing with injuries all season, and are probably healthier now than they've been in forever. I know we're still in 2nd place in the division, still in the playoff picture, but this is getting ridiculous. I'm thinking Davie T needs to make a move sometime soon and shake things up, or this season is going to end up in the pits...
One of my favorite things about Google is having three quotes of the day on my search page every day. I don't always pay attention to them, but every once in a while, something comes up that evokes a positive response. Number two this morning is just such a line, from a guy named Bertrand Russell (no idea who that is): "The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time." Two things here: first of all, the fact that I have no idea who Bertrand Russell is means I could probably just say something, attach my name to it and submit it for use on Google quotes of the day. How important do you think you have to be to get on there? I might investigate the submission process, and who knows, maybe you'll see some disparaging quote about women's basketball on your Google quote page sometime soon. Second thing: on my NFL weekends, when Saturday (or parts thereof) represents the only time away from work in my week, this quote rings loud and true. On the outside, one might view a day spent watching soccer and college football, napping, eating, playing guitar, reading, writing, and playing ncaa 06 (or just lazing around on my bed or the couch) a bit of a wasted day. But alas, according to Mr. Russell, 'tis no such thing. I'm feeling very validated. I might try to waste some time at work today.
In the interest of appearing somewhat informed, I clicked on his name and a sizeable list of quotations came up, several of which I find to be agreeable. Another one I like: "To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness." This is in direct correlation to my daily struggle to find time for everything, one which consistently results in me finding time for nothing other than work. I know I can't do everything (or have everything), which is good, but I never really looked at that deprivation as a means to happiness. Kinda cool, actually. (By the way, according to his quote page, Bertrand Russell is an author--or WAS an author--from the 20's and 30's, so maybe I can't just be nobody and get on the page.)
Kareem is on the show today, and we've been cleared to use his scenes from "Airplane!", which is just about the happiest news I could have gotten today. The cokcpit scene with the kid, which includes not only Kareem getting in the kid's face and challenging his dad to run up and down the court with Walton and Lanier, but also the classic Captain Over lines ("Have you ever seen a grown man naked?" and "Do you like gladiator movies?", among others). I've already been watching it at my desk this morning, you know, doing research for the segment, and it's been quite enjoyable (maybe a waste of time as well?). We're also using a clip from "Game of Death", in which Kareem fights Bruce Lee. I'd never seen it before, but there's a sweet five-minute fight scene towards the end of the movie from which we'll cut a 30-second clip. Great soundtrack and sound effects (and when I say great, I definitely mean terrible). Well now, it looks like we've come full circle...

J.J.'s J

"How do you think he does it? I don't know
What makes him so good?"
--Pinball Wizard, The Who

Dude can shoot. Wow. I know I'm partial to Duke (and most people seem to hate Coach K and his spawn), but even the impartial need to be impressed with J.J. Redick, who continued his incredible senior season with a DeanDome-slump-breaking 35-point performance (tying Len Bias for the second-highest point total in the building's history, by the way), including two dagger treys in the final minutes.
Unfortunately for me, I had work that kept me at my desk until almost 8:30 last night. Fortunately for me, I have a television set at said desk, one which receives just about every sporting event on any station at any given time (tree-climbing and curling excepted), and I was therefore able to witness the entirety of the Duke-Carolina second half while I finished up my work. Before getting to a little more J.J., a couple other thoughts evoked by last night's rivalry game:
- Shelden Williams is not as good as I thought he was. He's a solid rebounder and a good shot-blocker, but he's not a consistent enough low-post scorer to be a great four-man in the league (and he's way too small to be a center). At best, he's a poor man's Ben Wallace. At worst, he's a shorter Collins twin (Jason or Jarron, is there really a difference?)...
- Josh McRoberts is going to be good. Very good. He does need to bulk up a bit, but he's only a freshman, and I came away much more impressed with him than with fellow frosh Tyler Hansbrough, Carolina's leading scorer and rebounder. If he and Paulus (also solid--big free throws late) stay together for a couple years, there'll be a few more titles heading there way (but speculation has him turning pro after next year at the latest). Oh yeah, and that reverse oop from Sean Dockery was sick...
- Roy Williams is a darn good coach. That move he pulled in the second half, sitting all five of his starters and ripping into them on the bench while his no-names hung in there for a few minutes was brilliant. The starters re-entered and turned a 17-point deficit into a five-point lead before J.J. took over. I've had a debate with one of my bosses about where we'd play college basketball if we had offers from everywhere in the country--I go with Duke, he goes with Carolina, and I can see the value of playing for Roy...
- I enjoy USC-UCLA (in all sports), and Ohio State-Michigan seems to have some significance, but no matter where these two teams are rated, this is the best rivalry in sports, without question. Before I die, I need to witness one of those games in person (and I would prefer to do so sooner than later--gotta make this media thing work for me somehow)...
Okay, so watching J.J. Redick this season has gotten me thinking about a number of things, the most notable of which is trying to figure out the last time the two best players in college basketball were white guys. J.J. and Adam Morrison are the two guys basically considered the best in the nation (they're 1-2 in scoring, 28.4 apiece), and off the top of my head, I don't think it's happened--I have therefore done a little research:
Besides Andrew Bogut, who won the Wooden Award last year, only four white guys have ever won the award: Christian Laettner, Chris Mullin, Danny Ainge and Larry Bird. In '92, Shaq was probably the best player; in '85, I'd say it was Ewing; in '81, I was four, but I do know that Isiah and Ralph Sampson were among the game's best; and in '79, it was obviously Magic. Last year, Redick was also a first-team All-American, but I think Dee Brown, Sean May and Chris Paul would all be considered better than him at that point. Basically what I'm trying to say is that we're on the brink of history here, and it's probably not something we're going to see for quite awhile.
Last J.J. thing, because I don't think I mentioned it when it happened a few weeks ago. A little over a week ago, I watched Duke play Virginia (another work night thing), and saw the Devils cruise to a pretty easy 82-63 victory over the Cavs (if you'll recall, it was former Virginia coach Pete Gillen who uttered the famous "Duke is Duke--they're on TV more than 'Leave it to Beaver' re-runs" line). J.J. had another great scoring game, his third-best scoring total of the season, but the fact that he scored 40 points wasn't the most impressive thing. It was that he scored those 40 points on just 13 shots. Seriously. He was 11-of-13 from the floor (including 8-of-10 from downtown) and 10-of-11 from the line. It was unbelievable. He didn't force anything, just took (and made) open shots all night long. It was the anti-Kobe, actually. Kobe has taken as few as 13 shots exactly once this season, and he managed 24 points in a 76-74 loss to the Rockets. His 40-point games have required 36, 34, 36, 33, 24, 31, 37, 29, 41, 32, 29, 35, 46 and 17 shots, respectively, and that last game required a 23-of-26 from the line performance that got Larry Brown ejected for his disagreement with the officiating. Redick's display against Virginia was indeed a remarkable display of efficiency.
And now, for those of you who find anything affiliated with Duke extremely nauseating, I present the Redick-free portion of this morning's blog:
- solid, but not flashy 24 on Monday--introducing a few other uncomfortable elements to deal with (kidnapping and child abuse, suicide by hanging) to complement the monopoly on torture already enjoyed by the show, and giving us another apparent dead end in the search for the nerve gas. I think that having the Russians involved is a cool thing--brings us back to the days of "Wargames" and "Top Gun", all those great Cold War movies...
- if you are A) a viewer of our wonderful television show, B) a fan of the Oakland Athletics (specifically Eric Chavez and/or Huston Street), C) a guitar player, and/or D) familiar with the Martin DC-1E model, then you might want to tune in tomorrow (Thursday) night, 9 or 10:30 pm, and you'll see the American League Rookie of the Year picking out a little Dave Matthews Band tune on my guitar. Evidently Street has been learning to play from Barry Zito, and "Lie in Our Graves" is one of the songs he's picked up--we decided to let him play on the show, and my guitar was nominated. Having appeared in a comedy sketch or two, I must say that this is way cooler--the Martin on national television, I love it...
- on another show-related note, Chuck Norris is in studio today. I've just started reading all these Chuck Norris facts on the internet, and it's definitely one of the funniest phenomena I've ever seen. For those heretofore unbaptized, a sampling:

- Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
- In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

I have no idea how something like this gets started, but the guy is probably more famous for this than for anything else he's ever done, and I'm stoked to meet him today, no doubt...
- I've finalized travel plans for my trip to England in March, and I don't know if I've ever been as excited for anything, ever. Maybe the trip to Korea in '02, maybe meeting Antonio Gates (maybe meeting Chuck Norris today--not really), but I don't think anything is to this level of anticipation. I'm flying out on a Friday morning, arriving in London the next morning, in time to head over to Craven Cottage (it's a stadium name) for the Fulham-Arsenal match (former Bruin Carlos Bocanegra and USA star Brian McBride both start for Fulham). Sunday through Friday are wide open (though they'll probably include a trip to watch Blackburn practice (Brad Friedel plays there), a jaunt to Norway to see my friend Kristene, and hopefully a few other stops in European cities. I'll return to London Saturday for a Division 1 match at Reading, where Americans Marcus Hahnemann and Bobby Convey play, and then Mike B flies in that night. We're capping the week off with the ultimate: Newcastle United at Manchester United. It's Alan Shearer's final season, so I get to watch him play, and it's a game at Old Trafford, which is pretty much Yankee Stadium, the Boston Garden and Lambeau Field all rolled into one (except with hooligans). I seriously can't wait...