Mile High Morning

"And the Colorado rocky mountain high
I’ve seen it rainin’ fire in the sky
You can talk to God and listen to the casual reply
Rocky mountain high Colorado..."
-Rocky Mountain High, John Denver

I find myself awake a little earlier than I need to be, and with room service breakfast on its way up in about 20 minutes, I've had a little time to peruse the internet (reading up on a tremendous night of NBA playoff games, wow) and even blog a little. Some thoughts at 8 a.m., Mountain Standard Time:
- Is there anything more cliche from a tourist couple than matching shirts? I honestly don't know where these people come from, that the husband wearing a big floral print hawaiian shirt and his wife wearing a sleeveless version of the same thing is by any means acceptable. I didn't take the time to ask them (at LAX yesterday), but they seemed very content with that morning's apparel decision (and my guess is that they've got four or five matching outfits, so they can coordinate every day of their vacation). Of course, they could be L.A. natives and not even on vacation, which would be even worse.
- Crazy weekend for the folks at Pepsi Center, where I'm headed in about an hour. They had the Avalanche-Stars game last night (Dallas won to stay alive in the series), the National Lacrosse League playoff game between the Colorado Mammoth and Arizona Sting today at noon (did you know that the NLL has been around for 20 years?!?), and then the big one--the Clips and Nugs at 8:30. Lots of work for those game operations folks, changing three different playing surfaces in less than 24 hours.
- Are the Texans serious? Mario Williams is not going to be Julius Peppers, I'm sorry to break it to you. More like Courtney Brown (Browns took him No. 1 overall in '00), I'm thinking, but even if he's close to Peppers, how on earth do you pass on Reggie Bush? The rationalization I heard on SportsCenter this morning was that they feel a need for defensive help to compete with the Colts ("We can't outscore the Colts, so let's try to stop them instead"). Right. 'Cause a rookie defensive end makes the worst defense in the league able to keep up with the Colts. Good call. Meanwhile, the team that gets Reggie makes their entire offense tons better, special teams too. How pissed are you if you're David Carr right now? I suppose the only happy party in this whole scenario (besides Mr. Williams) has gotta be Domanick Davis. I will say this for Williams: If he doesn't have a Freeney-esque rookie year (at least), Texans fans will have a hard time accepting him.
- As stoked as I am to be here this weekend, today is one of the worst possible Saturdays to be working, isn't it? I'll be checking my cell phone pretty much every 15 minutes until the Chargers pick (likely a corner, Jason Allen or Jonathan Joseph, from what I hear), and then I'll be excited to see where Marcedes and Drew Olson (and Mo Drew) go later in day one.
- I'll repeat what I said the other day about Kobe finally "getting it" and trusting his teammates--didn't get to see any of the game, but the numbers don't lie. Phil Jackson is the greatest coach of all time, without question. Red Auerbach never had a team like this, I promise you.
- What is this, 1998? Greg Maddux and Pedro Martinez are the first two pitchers in baseball to 5-0? Those two are amazing, (and to paraphrase Paul Simon) still dealing after all these years.

Breakfast is here (a couple eggs, some sausage, potatoes, toast and OJ--nice to have a $45 per diem on the road)...go Clips

What's the Problem?

"Each piece of life is like a puzzle, can you solve ‘em
Stress’ll drive you crazy when you’re dealing with these problems
Problems, problems - How you gonna solve ‘em
Man, I’m going crazy trying to deal with these problems"
--Problems, Rappin' 4-Tay

Yesterday morning on ESPN.com, after appreciating the headline story (the Lakers' triumph in Game 2, featuring a photo of Kobe's ridiculous and-one dunk on Nash--more on that game later), I was almost depressed reading through the other headlines on the front page. Is sports really this sad?
• Bonds hits No. 711, but Mets beat Giants
• Favre's company: Packers, Woodson agree to deal
• GM says Texans won't draft Young | Bush saga
• D-Rays prospect Young throws bat at umpire
• Canadiens' team eye doctor to examine Koivu
• Washburn, M's hand Buehrle first loss of season
• Crawford's double off Rivera lifts Rays past Yanks
• Martin suspended for next two Nuggets games
• Duke lacrosse players cite money dispute
• USC suspends Sanchez after sexual assault arrest
There are maybe two stories in that list that are in any way uplifting, and that would only be if you're a Mariners or D-Rays fan (Lord knows there's plenty of those to go around, right?). Bonds has pretty much earned the ire of every baseball fan outside the bay area, Favre frustrated more than a few fans with his delayed return announcement, C-Wood is an underachieving bad dude, the Reggie Bush fiasco (though perhaps overblown) is another strike against the NCAA, is Delmon Young kidding?, K-Mart's an idiot (I wonder if I'll see him this weekend--I definitely wouldn't say that to his face), and Mark Sanchez--ouch, don't wanna say anything just yet. More days than not, I'm very excited about the world in which I work, but there are are just so many negative things about sports that it's tough to remain positive all the time. "SportsNight" had a real good episode along those lines, where one of the guys (can't remember if it was Casey or Dan) was getting depressed about all the bad stuff in sports, and was finally vindicated by an inspirational moment on TV at the end. Maybe I need one of those (or maybe I just need to watch "SportsNight" again).

That being said, a couple of my buddies put something together that is about as positive as it gets (if you've seen SNL's "Lazy Sunday", you know exactly where the inspiration comes from):

This aired on the show Wednesday night and it airs again tonight--great response from people already. Watch for the cameos, especially the last one. FYI, Bernie (the one on the right, in the Derrick Mason Ravens journey) is a graphics producer (and a fellow guitar aficionado) and Jason (the white guy, Carson jersey) is the senior segment producer--both real good dudes, and hilarious in this video.

Now Lakers stuff, real quick: There becomes a tendency in the NBA Playoffs to make huge generalizations and rushes to judgment based on just one game, so I don't want to get too carried away about a series that's merely tied at 1-1, but there are so many good things happening that I really can't refrain. Frankly, the biggest thing in all of this is that Kobe is finally becoming MJ. How is this possible, you say? He's finally trusting his teammates, sorry as they may have been all season. It's only been two games that this trust has been in evidence, but they may have been the Lakers' two best-played games of the entire season, and what better time for those to arrive, huh? I was reading a list of the worst draft picks of all time (in any sport) yesterday, and Kwame Brown was No. 77 on the list. I understand that his career to date has been nowhere near representative of a No. 1 overall pick, but the case made in the article was that the Wizards (MJ) passed on the following players: Pau Gasol, Jason Richardson, Joe Johnson, Richard Jefferson, Troy Murphy and Tony Parker. In Kwame's defense (and Michael and Doug Collins as well), would anybody on this list other than Gasol have been the right pick here? Everybody else in the first round passed on Parker too (he went No. 28 to the Spurs), so that's not really their fault, Troy Murphy sucks, and none of the swing players would have made any sense (MJ was coming back, and they still had Rip Hamilton). Anyways, after all of the crap he went through in Washington, and a pretty lackluster initial regular season in L.A., Kwame has really stepped it up here against Phoenix. He's a definite presence defensively, and though he's still got terrible hands, he's been much more assertive offensively than ever before. Luke is still sweet, Sasha has even made a couple shots, and Lamar has been the third-best player in the series (behind the two MVP candidates, obviously), which is better than he's been since his first or second year with the Clips. I have acknowledged on several occasions how much I allow my emotions to be affected by the Lakers, and the past two seasons have taught me to temper my expectations somewhat, but I can't help getting excited about the possibility of a Lakers-Clippers second-round showdown.

Flying out to Denver tonight, thank goodness we've got a series...

Playoffs?

"Time is winding down, but only for this life
I want to be found enjoying the next life
I see leaves and they are starting to turn brown
But they'll be green and growing when the second season comes around"
--Second Season, Five Iron Frenzy

Since it's playoff time and since I haven't written in about a month--it really saddens me every time I start a new entry (as rare as that may be) and I have to realize that the last entry was at least three weeks ago--I'm going to ask a few questions, some of the rhetorical variety, and some of the more normal answerable type. On with it...
- Do the Lakers have a chance in the first round? Well Scott, glad you asked (I heard Barry Bonds use the third person in an incredibly annoying way yesterday--like there's any other way--and I wanted to see how it would feel to do it myself; I'm feeling dirty). They absolutely have a chance, and there are three big reasons:
- Amare Stoudemire: Anybody who watched last year's conference finals knows how ridiculous this guy can be--he almost singlehandedly won Game 4 with 31 points and a game-saving block on Duncan in the final 30 seconds, and he averaged 37 for the series. His absence is gigantic, because nobody else gives Phoenix a real inside presence, except for...
- Kurt Thomas: Confusing trade in the off-season, unloading last year's big bomber, Quentin Richardson, and picking up the former Knicks power forward, and now Thomas has been hurt for a couple weeks. If he's unable to return at full strength, there's no way the Suns will be able to hang with Lamar and Kwame down low (I can't believe I'd be viewing Kwame as an advantage at anything), but if he's back and able to give them 10 and 10, Phoenix should be in good shape.
- Kobe: Obviously. In the office last week, we had our playoff player points draft (10 guys, 6 players apiece; credit for every point scored by your guys in the entire playoffs, so there's equal parts team success and individual scoring ability considered--great concept), and I had the number two pick. After D-Wade went one, I had to go Kobe. If they win the first-round series, he could score 500 points and not even make the conference finals. A guy like Rip Hamilton, who went fourth overall (after Dirk), could win it all and still not score as many as two-series-Kobe. And if the Lakers go any further? Whoa. Anyways, his inclusion on this list, though quite overt, is necessary because he's the only player in the league who can shift the balance of a series on his own. If he's feeling it (and feeling like a teammate, at least sometimes), the Lakers (who have been playing as well as anybody the last month or so) could be very dangerous.
- Could this Duke lacrosse thing get any worse? Our stand-up guy, Brody Stevens (he warms up the audience for the show) said that he doesn't have a comment on the story, because, and I quote, "I don't follow lacrosse." Kinda funny, I guess, but the whole scenario is pretty awful for everybody involved. It's like all the work Coach K has done there in his 20-plus years has been negated, because right now (and for a while to come, unfortunately), the first thing people will think of when they think of Duke (and more specifically, Duke athletics) will be this ridiculousness.
- Could the writing of youth baseball and softball coaches in the La Canada area get any worse? I really hope that the answer to this question is no, because this week's stories are unbelievably bad. I hope to have time to include as many as possible (with a special cameo from an old friend):
- "The A's and Dodgers played an exciting game of baseball last night, with the Dodgers edging the A's in a nail-biter, 7-5" - this is like the way-too-often-overused golf announcer's friend, "that was a great golf shot". Duh. The loyal readers have assumed a few things when they've made the jump to reading these summaries, the first of which would be that they're reading about baseball.
- "Will orr had the fans screaming when he stole home with a face first dive in the 3rd inning" - I'm not sure if I should be scared about this or excited for the kid, you know? It just reads a little too gory, like the kid tore his face off or something (quick quote for Side's movie game: "You wanna face-off with Castor Troy?" -- anybody?). And I do think this coach needs to work with his kids on the fundamentals. I'm no Tom Emanski, but face-first doesn't seem to be the right way to do it, does it?
- "A tight game where pitching predominated...Schwartz batted .1000 with 2 walks" - Could he have meant 1.000? It would take a lot of at bats, probably more than you can get in a regulation youth baseball game, to hit .1000, and even if you did, it probably wouldn't be worth bragging about in the ensuing write-up, would it?
- "In the third inning, McAleenan reached the PCY asphalt for the first time this year with a two run shot" - just put that one in there for Side, for nostalgia's sake
- "...Dana then fired the ball to Niamh to catch another Wahine Surfer at second base to complete a TRIPLE PLAY. Woooww!!!" - I think I saw this line in Steve Henson's Dodger recap from last night. Whoever said there's no such thing as objective journalism?
- "The White Sox struggled to keep up with the fast pased Red Sox today. Our pitching was struggling along with our bats. The spring break (Coach Williams)" - ...evidently meant that Coach Williams wanted to take a break from typing the rest of his summary, which, if the first portion is any indication, would have been stocked with numerous spelling and grammar mistakes.
- "Defensively getting help from Don Pontrelli and Collin Ramini keeping the Yankee's close to the bag. Infielders Collin Ramani and Chris Knapp making put outs. The White Sox lost the game to the Yankee's but it was a very good game and each team should be happy with thier play. By the way this was a really fun game to watch also. (Coach Williams)" - That old Coach Williams is at it again, with pretty much the worst piece of writing I've seen since Miss Canavan's English class. Trust me, this is only the tip of the iceberg. The apostrophe in "Yankee's" defies description, the second sentence is more fragmented than a Handsome Boy Modeling School album, and the last line seriously looks like it was written by Coach Williams' seven-year old son, if not his cocker spaniel. Struggling...
- "Jonathan Lee augmented exemplary play at catcher with a lead off home run and perfection at the plate, going 3 for 3 (scoring all 3 times!); inspiring chants of 'Destroyer! Destroyer!' and earning the game ball in a game that featured several outstanding performances." - Do you really think people were chanting at this game? If so, how exactly do you chant "destroyer"? It doesn't exactly flow, does it? Of course, I don't want to knock this guy too much, because he did use "augmented" and "exemplary" in the same sentence, which is about two more polysyllabic words than the rest of the coaches could muster, combined.
(this next one is my favorite)
- "Both teams thought the game ended in a tie, until Leo re-instated a run for the Giants from the 3rd inning. If you're confused, you're not alone. Either way, it's not about winning and losing, when you lose. This was one of those youth sporting events that will be remembered for the many great plays by the kids, despite the many perplexing events. (Coach Stephens)" - Can't you just hear Jeese saying this? It's possible, nay, probable that this was not Jeff Stephens, but I'm choosing to believe that it is. It's way better that way...
- "The Cardinal offense exploded in the first inning, with consecutive singles by Papi, Tex, Ben-10, A.K., and Slugger resulting in 5 runs" - this is the same "Destroyer" guy, who obviously seems hell-bent on giving every kid in the sixth grade a nickname, no matter their objections. I can visualize poor Tex telling his evil coach, "But I don't wanna be Tex. I grew up in Riverside." And I'm hearing that A.K.'a parents have grown a little uncomfortable with their son's association to a semi-automatic weapon.
- "The Golden Retrievers fought hard and led for the first half of the game with great pitching from Meghan Lacey & Madison Witt. Meghan also hit a double combined with Delaney Brower's RBI to score the Retriever's one run, but bases were left loaded too many times on the third out for the team to win" - first of all, whoever decided to name a little girls' team after dogs is downright cruel. Second of all, does this allow the coach to use the b-word in talking to his/her players? Technically, that's what they all are, right? I should stop talking about this...
- "Also, Hannah Martinez came to play ball to support her team even with an injured toe!" - Well Coach, I guess we should just start putting young Hannah in the conversation with Willis Reed and Terrell Owens, shouldn't we? Courageous, undeniable spirit--I mean, her TOE was hurt, and she still showed up to the game?!? How is this even possible?!? Get HBO Real Sports on the phone and send Bryant Gumbel out to talk to Hannah, like today. America deserves to hear this story...
- "Unexpeced to play due to injury, Cox threw a no-hitter, striking out 10 and walking two over four innings" - there, now that's better (even though you can't spell "unexpected")

Due to time constraints, I'm forced to conclude this extended mocking session, but I'll do my best to write again this week. Leaving for Denver on Friday to produce an NBA Playoffs piece (Game 4 Nuggets-Clippers), which should be lots of fun; maybe time to write in the hotel or something, we'll see...